New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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