i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Randomize
