Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
