I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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