I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Can I color on your dick again?
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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