don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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