I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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