Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
