I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
