God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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