yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize