If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
