Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
