I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
