This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
