I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
