In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
