You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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