she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Randomize
