I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
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