That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
