she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
