babies were throwing up all over the place
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
