i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
