Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
