I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize
