he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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