I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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