At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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