What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
