Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
