so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
