I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
