i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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