You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize