Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
