Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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