Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
