I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
