The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
