that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
