I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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