The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
