Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
