Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
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Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
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I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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