butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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