You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
