You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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