I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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