Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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