walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
