so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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