So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
