Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
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