Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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