god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
