That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
