im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.