2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize