i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.