Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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