I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
