did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Randomize
