oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
